One day when my son was a tiny baby, I was walking with him along the main street of our neighborhood when an ambulance went screaming past. Just ahead of us on the sidewalk were a little boy and his mother, and they jumped up and down shouting happily, "There go the helpers!" Wow. What … Continue reading There go the helpers!
Parenting
Offering Choices
An often-repeated tip for coping with young children is to "give them choices." Sometimes that works wonders...and other times it doesn't. It's all in how you do it. My grandma said that one of the most important things she learned as a parent was this: Don't ask a child IF she wants to do something unless … Continue reading Offering Choices
One Portable Feast
Nicholas and I recently spent a wonderful day at the Carnegie Museum, which included lunching in the sculpture garden. We brought our lunch from home. It was tasty, healthy, and affordable and produced very little garbage. I've been hearing lately, from real parents and in the media, that packing a meal or snack is just not feasible because … Continue reading One Portable Feast
Children as Household Helpers
Projects that benefit the whole family, done by parent(s) and child(ren) working together, give a child a sense of being useful in the family. Feeling that he can do valuable work may help him to focus more on the needs of the family than his own needs and wants. We've found that Nicholas tends to be very calm … Continue reading Children as Household Helpers
The POD Concept
Years before we became parents, a childless friend told us about some people she knew who had a new baby and had managed their activities at a convention very effectively using The POD Concept, which she then explained to us. I hope that someday I will meet those people so I can tell them how very useful … Continue reading The POD Concept
Sunday shenanigans
Because his mother is an Episcopalian but his father does not belong to an organized religion, Nicholas was not baptized as an infant. My congregation welcomed him with the Prayer of Thanksgiving for the Birth of a Child, and everyone treats him as a member of the church family, but he will not join the … Continue reading Sunday shenanigans
Anything works better when you know how to use it!
This columnist argues that teenagers shouldn't be taught about contraception because studies show that younger, poorer, unmarried people using oral contraceptives or condoms are more likely to get pregnant than older, more affluent, married people using the same devices. It's an interesting attempt at logic, but it leaves out a crucial point: Any contraceptive method that requires action … Continue reading Anything works better when you know how to use it!
Learning to Share
The topic of "sharing" comes up pretty often, in conversations with other parents in real life or online, because every young child eventually has a moment when she yanks a toy away from another child or gets her own toy yanked away. What often puzzles me about discussions of sharing and taking turns is that so many … Continue reading Learning to Share
One Thing and Three Things
[adapted from a post to a discussion board when our son Nicholas was 19 months old] When I was a young adult, having trouble adjusting to working full-time on a fixed schedule with a commute instead of being in the more flexible environment of college, and also was having some other problems that led me to … Continue reading One Thing and Three Things
Things I Learned from My Mom
Mothers are people too. It's wonderful to be female. Speak up for what you believe. It's okay to be different from the natives. It's more important to have things that are enjoyable and useful than to be fashionable. Cooking is worthwhile. Plants are wonderful. Take a walk. The world is made up of interwoven stories.
How Fear Handicaps Feminism
Women will not be equal until we are not afraid. Giving women options--making it possible for us to hold powerful jobs, to play sports, to exercise the same legal rights as men--is only part of the battle. The rest is getting women to feel that it's okay for us to do these things. The barriers we have to overcome are not only other people's prejudices but also our own.
The Earthling's Handbook 