April 24, 2013 4 Comments
If you have any opinions at all about the appropriate methods of disciplining children, and if you are ever anywhere near any families with different opinions, someday you will find yourself in this situation: Your child sees another parent respond to a child’s behavior in a way that your child recognizes as different, which may be shocking or upsetting to your child. What can you say to help your child understand what’s going on?
My son Nicholas is eight years old now. We’ve used a mostly gentle discipline approach that focuses on explaining, redirecting, and using these strategies:
- Show. No. Fear. (The last part of this article explains why we believe spanking is unhelpful.)
- Don’t give warnings; act now and then give a second chance.
- Notice the plant, not just the worm.
- Remember that he’s really only very small.
- Try alternative solutions that put him in control of his behavior.
- Sometimes, you have to take charge.
- Use positive reinforcement.
We sometimes get fed up and start yelling or say things that aren’t so nice, but we do our best to avoid being really harsh and hurtful, and we don’t hit him. That means that when he sees another parent using harsh or violent discipline, he expects an explanation. Read more…