Watermelon is your ex-husband.

SCENE: The dining room, last night.  Mama has a strangely terrible stomachache and is trying to eat a banana, hoping that it will absorb some of the acid.  Nicholas, six years old, is babbling about many things that do not sink in to Mama’s distracted mind.

NICK: Babble!  Babble!  Watermelon is your ex-husband.

MAMA: What?

NICK: It is!  It is!  Isn’t it?

MAMA: Isn’t what what?

NICK: What? What?

MAMA:  I thought you said, “Watermelon is your ex-husband.”

NICK: I did.

MAMA: But why?

NICK: It’s a saying!

MAMA: Where is it a saying, and what does it mean?

NICK: It means you don’t like it.

MAMA: So, if somebody gave me this banana, and I didn’t like bananas, I would say, “Watermelon is your ex-husband”?

NICK: (laughing) Nooo!!  It’s the thing you don’t like that is your ex-husband.  Because you don’t like it.  Like you don’t like your ex-husband.

MAMA: But I don’t have an ex-husband!

NICK: But if you did.  You wouldn’t like him.  Probably.

MAMA: Okay, but that’s not a saying.  I never heard anybody say it before.

NICK: Mama.  I am . . . (obviously searching his memory bank for vocabulary retained from his summer-vacation indulgence of watching “Word Girl” for three straight hours) . . . devastated to hear that.

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About 'Becca
author of The Earthling's Handbook, about the environment, parenting, cooking, and more!

5 Responses to Watermelon is your ex-husband.

  1. Jessica says:

    Hahahahaha I love your Nicholas stories! He cracks me up with how he is always sharing things “everyone says” and the way he “usually” does things. Such wisdom and experience at six years old! 🙂

  2. Oh, my gosh! That is too funny!!!!

  3. Hilarious!!! Funny! Amusing! (Sorry…slipped into Word Girl mode…)

    Isn’t it great to get a tiny glimpse of how their brains work and piece things together?

  4. Young Mom says:

    Lol! I love this, kids come up with the funniest stuff!

  5. Pingback: My Father Taught Me How to Be a Working Mother | The Earthling's Handbook

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