Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another, they are not cute. They are life-sized. --Margaret Atwood Last spring, when Nicholas was 3 years 5 months old, I found a picture of myself at 3 years 5 months old. Not only did I see a strong resemblance between us, but I found … Continue reading Life-sized
Parenting
What I did with the Mad my kid felt
Nicholas at four years old likes to negotiate about how he spends his time. It's mostly a good thing: Of course he should have some say in what happens, and compromising and prioritizing are important skills. The trouble is that he has so many things he wants to do and so little time at home--he's in … Continue reading What I did with the Mad my kid felt
My Secret Journey
This is just a little story from my life. I can't think of a good reason to post it, except that it keeps tugging on the corner of my mind and wanting to be told. I hope that somehow, it makes a difference to somebody. Pregnancy made me very sick. The nausea hit suddenly on the … Continue reading My Secret Journey
Family Bed in the Kid’s Room
It's Works-for-Me Wednesday! Before our child was born, we decided to have the family bed in his room and keep the master bedroom as our couple space. We'd read a lot about co-sleeping and thought it sounded like a great way to minimize the disruptions of night nursing and give our baby a loving, secure … Continue reading Family Bed in the Kid’s Room
The Other Three Bears
Once upon a time, there were three little bears sitting on three little chairs, very quiet and very still. They were sitting like that because their father had told them to, and they always did everything their father told them to do. The father bear needed his little bears to be quiet and still because he had to work very hard at his desk. He worked and worked until . . . yawn . . . zzz . . . flop! he fell asleep right on top of his papers.
Second Chance
Disclaimer: We only have one child. Other children may react differently to this technique. Give it a try and see if it works for you! I started into parenting thinking that it's unfair to impose a consequence on a child without warning him first (except in a dangerous situation, of course) and that once you've … Continue reading Second Chance
Navigating into the New Year
Nicholas just turned four years old. Over the past few weeks, we've become more confident that the tantrum stage has finally ended, but he still gets into moods where he acts extremely annoying. Yesterday was a tough one. Nicholas and I woke at the same time, and before we were all the way down the … Continue reading Navigating into the New Year
An Everyday Educational Game
As we walked along our neighborhood's main street this afternoon, my four-year-old son asked me about a strange-looking contraption on the sidewalk. I explained that it's for the safe, sanitary disposal of cigarette butts. Sadly, Nicholas knows all about cigarettes, even though nobody in our family smokes them, because in our urban habitat we routinely … Continue reading An Everyday Educational Game
Really Only Very Small
This is one of the simplest yet most profound parenting tips I've heard: When your child is driving you absolutely insane, and you wish he'd just get with the program and act like a civilized human being, and you're sick and tired of his getting in the way of all the very important things you … Continue reading Really Only Very Small
What right have you to be angry?
Nicholas still acts up in church sometimes. A couple of weeks ago, we had an even more difficult time than the one I wrote about last year. It started with Nicholas wanting to go to the bathroom just as I was listening eagerly to the Old Testament reading, which was the story of what happened … Continue reading What right have you to be angry?
The Way I Usually Do It
A couple of weeks ago, we were making one of our family's favorite dinners: beans, guacamole, diced tomato, and chips. As usual, Daniel was Mexicanating the beans while I made the guacamole. Nicholas decided, for the first time, that he wanted to help with the guacamole instead of the beans. I showed him how I … Continue reading The Way I Usually Do It
Show. No. Fear.
A few years ago, my mom and I saw a toddler having a tantrum about leaving an outdoor tourist attraction at closing time. She wanted to walk--NO she wanted to be carried--NO she wanted to ride in the wagon--NO she wanted to shriek and thrash in the gravel!!! This went on and on and on … Continue reading Show. No. Fear.
More about shyness
My mother just read my article on shyness and suggested a couple of additions. One is an anecdote I'd never heard before: At the last parent/teacher meeting of each elementary school year, your teachers confided how pleased they were that "Rebecca has finally started to come out of her shell." Every year. They were so … Continue reading More about shyness
Some Word Games
On the way back from Fairfield to the Chicago train station, we stopped at an Iowa truckstop restaurant called Gramma's Kitchen. One of the puzzles on the children's menu was this: "How many words can you make out of the letters in GRAMMA'S KITCHEN?" I glanced idly at it and thought, gram . . . ram … Continue reading Some Word Games
The Frog Game
Here's a game I learned at camp many years ago. It's a fun way to fill those moments when you need something to do that doesn't require any special equipment. We used to play it when we got to the dining hall early and were waiting for the dinner bell to ring! Shhh, don't tell the kids, but … Continue reading The Frog Game
Stroller Madness
Long before we became parents, Daniel and I decided we would not be transporting our child in a stroller on any regular basis. We live in Pittsburgh, a city of steep hills, stairs, and sidewalks cracked by frost heave and tree roots. Our neighborhood has heavy pedestrian traffic on sidewalks that are narrow in places. We often … Continue reading Stroller Madness
Great system, bad example!
We've been struggling with our three-year-old's demanding behavior and angry outbursts and have sought help from several books. The most recent was Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey, frequently recommended in online discussions. Overall, it's an okay book. The main idea is that a conflict is an opportunity to teach your child skills he … Continue reading Great system, bad example!
Counting to Three…Part Two
Well, the technique of counting to three had a good run, but it's not working anymore. Nicholas tried using it himself to get us to do things we'd refused to do, he saw that we still refused, and now he sees no reason why he should comply just because we're counting. I don't remember ever … Continue reading Counting to Three…Part Two
Impulse Control and Understanding Consequences
Like learning to share, these are skills some parents claim are absolutely impossible in babies and toddlers. I think they're underestimating what those little brains can do! Babies are capable of controlling some impulses, some of the time--they just aren't as good at it as older people. Babies are capable of learning that something they … Continue reading Impulse Control and Understanding Consequences
How the Cabana Bench Got Its Name
A tale of my childhood, retold in celebration of Mother's Day. When I was in first grade, my mother became annoyed that she kept finding my shoes in the middle of the floor in various public rooms of the house. At first, she dealt with this the way most parents--trying to teach orderly living skills and … Continue reading How the Cabana Bench Got Its Name
The Earthling's Handbook 