Daniel and I are gamer geeks. Our first memory of spending time together (we met gradually, both being members of a fairly large student organization) is a party where we played Nomic. We started to hang out together more when I came to the game nights he and his housemates hosted. Attending a gigantic game … Continue reading Growing a Gamer Geek
toddler
When Kids Show Up at Your Demo
I wrote this article in 1999, when I was not yet a parent but was noticing that many adults I knew were very awkward when relating to children or actually tried to exclude children from fun activities rather than figure out how the kids could fit in. I mentioned this to Kristin Looney, whose company … Continue reading When Kids Show Up at Your Demo
Come Here! Go Away!
My dad used to play this game with me when I was little, and now I play it with my son: Place your child in a swing and stand in front of it. Frown. Say, "Go away!" and push the swing. Now open your arms and smile. Say, "Come here, Nicholas!" [or, for best results, … Continue reading Come Here! Go Away!
Second Chance
Disclaimer: We only have one child. Other children may react differently to this technique. Give it a try and see if it works for you! I started into parenting thinking that it's unfair to impose a consequence on a child without warning him first (except in a dangerous situation, of course) and that once you've … Continue reading Second Chance
Really Only Very Small
This is one of the simplest yet most profound parenting tips I've heard: When your child is driving you absolutely insane, and you wish he'd just get with the program and act like a civilized human being, and you're sick and tired of his getting in the way of all the very important things you … Continue reading Really Only Very Small
Show. No. Fear.
A few years ago, my mom and I saw a toddler having a tantrum about leaving an outdoor tourist attraction at closing time. She wanted to walk--NO she wanted to be carried--NO she wanted to ride in the wagon--NO she wanted to shriek and thrash in the gravel!!! This went on and on and on … Continue reading Show. No. Fear.
Some Word Games
On the way back from Fairfield to the Chicago train station, we stopped at an Iowa truckstop restaurant called Gramma's Kitchen. One of the puzzles on the children's menu was this: "How many words can you make out of the letters in GRAMMA'S KITCHEN?" I glanced idly at it and thought, gram . . . ram … Continue reading Some Word Games
Stroller Madness
Long before we became parents, Daniel and I decided we would not be transporting our child in a stroller on any regular basis. We live in Pittsburgh, a city of steep hills, stairs, and sidewalks cracked by frost heave and tree roots. Our neighborhood has heavy pedestrian traffic on sidewalks that are narrow in places. We often … Continue reading Stroller Madness
Impulse Control and Understanding Consequences
Like learning to share, these are skills some parents claim are absolutely impossible in babies and toddlers. I think they're underestimating what those little brains can do! Babies are capable of controlling some impulses, some of the time--they just aren't as good at it as older people. Babies are capable of learning that something they … Continue reading Impulse Control and Understanding Consequences
To You, They ARE Underwear!
This article is part of my Tastes Like Somebody Loves You! series. I wrote it in 2003, but it falls into that category of things I wasn't allowed to say when I wasn't a parent. Toddlers learning to use the toilet used to wear cotton "training pants" that were just like underpants but made of thicker … Continue reading To You, They ARE Underwear!
Cloth Diaper Details
I already explained some of the advantages of using cloth diapers. Now, for those who are interested, I'm going to give all the details of how we did it. Many different styles of cloth diapers are available these days, so there's a lot to choose from, and it can be daunting. Pre-motherhood, I found it very useful … Continue reading Cloth Diaper Details
Toddler Discipline in Three Easy Steps!
Here's something I wrote when my son was 13 months old. Rereading it, I was surprised to realize that the basic structure of my response to misbehavior hasn't changed at all now that he's three years old; these basic steps have become second nature, while the details have gotten more complicated and wordy! I feel … Continue reading Toddler Discipline in Three Easy Steps!
Counting to Three
Counting to three is a discipline technique used different ways by different parents. I've seen it used as a gentle way to assert authority, which is what I'm going to talk about here. I've also seen it used as a threat ("Do it before I count to three or I'll whip you!") and as a … Continue reading Counting to Three
Mothering in transit
The distance from our home to our childcare center is less than three miles. In rush-hour traffic, it's a 20-minute drive. But almost every day, Nicholas and I make the trip by public transit, taking two buses and at least 45 minutes in each direction. I could walk that distance in that time! Am I insane?! No. I'm convinced that public transit is a wonderful way to travel with a young child. The conveniences more than make up for the inconveniences, that extra time is time we spend together, and the trip is full of learning experiences for my child and me.
Offering Choices
An often-repeated tip for coping with young children is to "give them choices." Sometimes that works wonders...and other times it doesn't. It's all in how you do it. My grandma said that one of the most important things she learned as a parent was this: Don't ask a child IF she wants to do something unless … Continue reading Offering Choices
Children as Household Helpers
Projects that benefit the whole family, done by parent(s) and child(ren) working together, give a child a sense of being useful in the family. Feeling that he can do valuable work may help him to focus more on the needs of the family than his own needs and wants. We've found that Nicholas tends to be very calm … Continue reading Children as Household Helpers
The POD Concept
Years before we became parents, a childless friend told us about some people she knew who had a new baby and had managed their activities at a convention very effectively using The POD Concept, which she then explained to us. I hope that someday I will meet those people so I can tell them how very useful … Continue reading The POD Concept
Learning to Share
The topic of "sharing" comes up pretty often, in conversations with other parents in real life or online, because every young child eventually has a moment when she yanks a toy away from another child or gets her own toy yanked away. What often puzzles me about discussions of sharing and taking turns is that so many … Continue reading Learning to Share
One Thing and Three Things
[adapted from a post to a discussion board when our son Nicholas was 19 months old] When I was a young adult, having trouble adjusting to working full-time on a fixed schedule with a commute instead of being in the more flexible environment of college, and also was having some other problems that led me to … Continue reading One Thing and Three Things
The Earthling's Handbook 