SCENE I: our dining room, a couple of weeks ago
NICK (age 3): I want a plum!
MAMA: (picking up plate with toast crumbs that has been on table all day) Okay, I’ll put it on this plate.
NICK: No! That plate has crumbs on it!
MAMA: I will brush off the crumbs.
NICK: NO!!! Don’t touch them! Bring that back!
MAMA: What? You want to keep a plate with just crumbs on it?
NICK: This is no ordinary plate. This is a decoration of my church. (sets plate just so, amid clutter on table)
MAMA: Umm, you and I belong to the same church. That’s not one of our church’s decorations.
NICK: Also I belong to my other church. In my other church, we eat the Yogurt of Christ. I am the Spooner. (offering spoonful of yogurt) The Yogurt of Christ, the Yogurt of Heaven.
PARENTS:
NICK: Mama, you’re supposed to kneel!

SCENE II: our dining room, this past Sunday
NICK: (serving as Spooner again) The Yogurt of Christ, the Yogurt of Heaven.
DADDY: Amen.
NICK: No! This is a different church! That’s not what we say!
DADDY: Oh, sorry, what do we say?
NICK: “You pay.”
DADDY: Um, okay…
NICK: The Yogurt of Christ, the Yogurt of Heaven.
DADDY: You pay.
NICK: No, you pay!

The yogurt in question is Brown Cow whole-milk yogurt, and it is very good, and I thank God that it exists, but I am puzzled by my son’s theology.  I wonder if he’s been sneaking out to this other church while I’m asleep.

Visit the Write Mama Blog Hop for funny things said by other kids!  Here are some more funny sayings from mine:
The Hammer Festival
Words he made up
“I wish I was a crayon.”