Last winter, one of my Girl Scouts was singing this parody of the Dreidel song traditionally sung on Hanukkah:
Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of snow.
I baked it in the oven.
Where did my bagel go?

My family found this song hilarious and sang it over and over again.  Within a couple of days, we were making up our own variants. Nicholas reminded me about it this week by saying, out of the blue, “Mama, sing those silly bagel songs again!”

In addition to the amusement, making up these silly songs is a great way to practice rhyming and rhythm.  I’m impressed at how often Nick’s verses follow the original rhyme scheme.  He’s less good at getting them to scan (have the correct number of syllables and pattern of syllabic stress) but about one in five of his suggestions scans perfectly.  And he can sing the tune!

Give it a try!  It’s amazing how much you can think of to sing about bagels once you get started.  Here are some of our verses:

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I rolled it down the sidewalk.
Where did my bagel go?

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I boiled it and baked it
And sliced it like a pro.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
When Daddy said, “Who ate it?”
I said, “Oh, I don’t know!”

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I dropped it in the sink drain,
And it clogged up the flow.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I kneaded it and rolled it
And tied it in a bow.
[“No, Mama! Then it would be a pretzel!”]

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I left it out for Santa,
And he said, Ho! Ho! Ho!

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I shared to it my bubbles,
But bagel could not blow.
[grammar by Nicholas]

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I took it on a boat trip.
I did not let it row.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
Although it had no fingers,
I taught it how to sew.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough
I drove the car too fast, and
That bagel shouted, “Whoa!”

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I sat it on the couch, and
We watched a funny show.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of dough.
I put it in the garden.
My bagel did not grow.

So many things rhyme with “dough”!  Of course, you can make bagels out of other things:

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of mice.
I fed it to my tiger.
She said it tasted nice.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of flour.
I baked it much too long, and
I chewed it for an hour.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of rocks.
My mama would not eat it.
I put it in her socks.

Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
I made it out of eggs.
It grew two arms and hands and
Four eyelids and six legs.

And so on.  It’s a new tradition for a family that’s still singing the song my father and brother and I composed one silly evening in 1980 [to the tune of “I Ride an Old Paint”]:
I eat an old bagel; it tastes very stale.
I have an old cat who has no tail.
He wears old sneakers without any socks.
He dances very well, except on the rocks.
Of all these crazy things, there are other tales to tell,
But I keep them all secret because of the smell.

So, are we Jewish?
More bagel songs.