Plastic Wall Tile

Alabaster…resembles fine Italian marble
37c square foot

Pastel Mist…exceeds government standards
22c square foot

Wow.  I have worked as an advertising copy writer, and I know how difficult it can be to find anything good to say about some dumb pathetic product. But, gosh, surely there’s something about Pastel Mist that’s more appealing than [translated] “It’s slightly better than the most minimal crap!” Let’s see:

Pastel Mist…almost resembles real ceramic wall tile

Pastel Mist…looks nice long enough to sell your house

Pastel Mist…for a kitchen you can tolerate

Back at the invention company, our fall-back bullet point, the euphemism for “I cannot dredge up five good things to say about this invention,” was, Producible in a variety of colors. I’m still not sure that producible is really a word, but hey, it sounds like a selling point and it’s something you can say about almost any consumer product. In the case of Pastel Mist, it already was produced in a variety of colors, so why not use that as the selling point?

Pastel Mist…in shades to match your mildew