Wednesday night, we had several hours of heavy rain. Yesterday morning, Nicholas and I arrived at his pre-school and found that all the furniture in his classroom had been moved out or stacked in the reading loft, and large fans were blowing across the damp floor. Rainwater had leaked in under the door to the … Continue reading An unscheduled Take Your Child to Work Day
preschooler
Hear now the Tale of Job!
My four-year-old son and I were in our car on the way to Trader Joe's last Wednesday when this Seatrain song telling the Biblical story of Job came up on the CD my dad made for me. I turned off the engine right after the line, "Long, long they journeyed until they found Job in … Continue reading Hear now the Tale of Job!
Growing a Gamer Geek
Daniel and I are gamer geeks. Our first memory of spending time together (we met gradually, both being members of a fairly large student organization) is a party where we played Nomic. We started to hang out together more when I came to the game nights he and his housemates hosted. Attending a gigantic game … Continue reading Growing a Gamer Geek
When Kids Show Up at Your Demo
I wrote this article in 1999, when I was not yet a parent but was noticing that many adults I knew were very awkward when relating to children or actually tried to exclude children from fun activities rather than figure out how the kids could fit in. I mentioned this to Kristin Looney, whose company … Continue reading When Kids Show Up at Your Demo
Come Here! Go Away!
My dad used to play this game with me when I was little, and now I play it with my son: Place your child in a swing and stand in front of it. Frown. Say, "Go away!" and push the swing. Now open your arms and smile. Say, "Come here, Nicholas!" [or, for best results, … Continue reading Come Here! Go Away!
Life-sized
Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another, they are not cute. They are life-sized. --Margaret Atwood Last spring, when Nicholas was 3 years 5 months old, I found a picture of myself at 3 years 5 months old. Not only did I see a strong resemblance between us, but I found … Continue reading Life-sized
What I did with the Mad my kid felt
Nicholas at four years old likes to negotiate about how he spends his time. It's mostly a good thing: Of course he should have some say in what happens, and compromising and prioritizing are important skills. The trouble is that he has so many things he wants to do and so little time at home--he's in … Continue reading What I did with the Mad my kid felt
The Other Three Bears
Once upon a time, there were three little bears sitting on three little chairs, very quiet and very still. They were sitting like that because their father had told them to, and they always did everything their father told them to do. The father bear needed his little bears to be quiet and still because he had to work very hard at his desk. He worked and worked until . . . yawn . . . zzz . . . flop! he fell asleep right on top of his papers.
Second Chance
Disclaimer: We only have one child. Other children may react differently to this technique. Give it a try and see if it works for you! I started into parenting thinking that it's unfair to impose a consequence on a child without warning him first (except in a dangerous situation, of course) and that once you've … Continue reading Second Chance
Navigating into the New Year
Nicholas just turned four years old. Over the past few weeks, we've become more confident that the tantrum stage has finally ended, but he still gets into moods where he acts extremely annoying. Yesterday was a tough one. Nicholas and I woke at the same time, and before we were all the way down the … Continue reading Navigating into the New Year
An Everyday Educational Game
As we walked along our neighborhood's main street this afternoon, my four-year-old son asked me about a strange-looking contraption on the sidewalk. I explained that it's for the safe, sanitary disposal of cigarette butts. Sadly, Nicholas knows all about cigarettes, even though nobody in our family smokes them, because in our urban habitat we routinely … Continue reading An Everyday Educational Game
Really Only Very Small
This is one of the simplest yet most profound parenting tips I've heard: When your child is driving you absolutely insane, and you wish he'd just get with the program and act like a civilized human being, and you're sick and tired of his getting in the way of all the very important things you … Continue reading Really Only Very Small
What right have you to be angry?
Nicholas still acts up in church sometimes. A couple of weeks ago, we had an even more difficult time than the one I wrote about last year. It started with Nicholas wanting to go to the bathroom just as I was listening eagerly to the Old Testament reading, which was the story of what happened … Continue reading What right have you to be angry?
The Way I Usually Do It
A couple of weeks ago, we were making one of our family's favorite dinners: beans, guacamole, diced tomato, and chips. As usual, Daniel was Mexicanating the beans while I made the guacamole. Nicholas decided, for the first time, that he wanted to help with the guacamole instead of the beans. I showed him how I … Continue reading The Way I Usually Do It
Show. No. Fear.
A few years ago, my mom and I saw a toddler having a tantrum about leaving an outdoor tourist attraction at closing time. She wanted to walk--NO she wanted to be carried--NO she wanted to ride in the wagon--NO she wanted to shriek and thrash in the gravel!!! This went on and on and on … Continue reading Show. No. Fear.
Some Word Games
On the way back from Fairfield to the Chicago train station, we stopped at an Iowa truckstop restaurant called Gramma's Kitchen. One of the puzzles on the children's menu was this: "How many words can you make out of the letters in GRAMMA'S KITCHEN?" I glanced idly at it and thought, gram . . . ram … Continue reading Some Word Games
Counting to Three…Part Two
Well, the technique of counting to three had a good run, but it's not working anymore. Nicholas tried using it himself to get us to do things we'd refused to do, he saw that we still refused, and now he sees no reason why he should comply just because we're counting. I don't remember ever … Continue reading Counting to Three…Part Two
Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
Last winter, one of my Girl Scouts was singing this parody of the Dreidel song traditionally sung on Hanukkah: Bagel! Bagel! Bagel! I made it out of snow. I baked it in the oven. Where did my bagel go? My family found this song hilarious and sang it over and over again. Within a couple … Continue reading Bagel! Bagel! Bagel!
What to Do with Half-Eaten Fruit
Anyone who spends time with young children is familiar with this phenomenon: "I want an apple!" [eats four bites] "Let's save it to later. NO, Mama, don't eat it!! I will finish it next time." [next day] "I want a banana! No, not an apple, a banana. NO, Mama, don't eat my apple!! It's for … Continue reading What to Do with Half-Eaten Fruit
Nightmare Management
My own child so far has not had much trouble with scary dreams or bedtime anxiety, but here are two ideas--one from my own childhood experience, one from my brother's--that I've never seen in professional advice on getting nightmare-prone children to sleep:I had a tendency to imagine things lurking in the dark. Sometimes I got so … Continue reading Nightmare Management
The Earthling's Handbook 