My Favorite Invention Name Changes of 1997

One of my responsibilities when I was a technical writer at an invention-marketing company was to keep track of changes to the name of an invention (that is, the inventor had changed his/her mind about the name under which the concept should be pitched to manufacturers) so that we’d be sure to use the correct, current name on all materials.  Many inventors were nervous about their idea’s chances of finding a manufacturer and therefore changed the name several times, attempting to make it sound more appealing.  There were also some changes made when inventors realized that the name gave away the idea, perhaps enough that someone could copy it rather than enter a licensing agreement.  All this was complicated by the fact that a startling percentage of our clients were crazy and/or clueless and the fact that we were required to accept their choice of invention name without modifying the spelling or questioning it in any way.  The following is just a small sample of the name changes we processed in 1997–the ones that were funny enough that I wrote them down on a paper in my desk drawer.

PAINT BRUSH changed to PABRU

WINDOW SAFE BAR changed to TRYANBUZME

S & V BUTT CUT changed to S & V BUTT OUT

CHILD MOVEMENT ALERT changed to CHILD ALERT changed to SMILING BABY CATCHER

HIGH-TECH AUTO COLLISION RECORDER SYSTEM changed to H.T.A.C.R.S.

TOOTHBRUSH 2000 changed to TOOTHBRUSH 2001

REVERSE POLARITY TRAVEL MUG changed to REVERSE POLARITY THERMO ELECTRIC BEVERAGE WARMER/COOLER changed to THE DRINK KING

CEMENT SAW CUT CLEANER changed to THE HOOKER

DRIVE-WAY MELT-AWAY changed to ELECTRO-PATHALIZER

EDGER-CUTTER changed to BORDER-EDGER-UNIQUE

PLASTIC GLOVE COVERS changed to KATHY GLOVES changed to KAKA’S GLOVES

FREEDOM PHONE changed to X-294

SPONGE GLOVE changed to KRAMER ANDREU INVENTION

INCONTANT CHAIR changed to INCONTINENT CHAIR changed to A CHAIR HEAVEN SENT

AUTOMATIC SHOWER HAIR PRODUCT DISPENSER changed to LOADSKI DISPENSER

LUMF changed to THE LUMF

CANTILEVER BUNK BED changed to FLYING BUNK BED

CREDIT CARD BRIEFCASE changed to SELF-DESTRUCTIVE WALLET

SECKA-BOX changed to ANTA

TERRORIST GAG changed to LUGGAGE TRACKER

POWDER PUFF STICK changed to THE WOO-PUFF

BICYCLE RACK changed to DON’T DANG IT HANG IT FOR BIKES & STUFF

PAY PHONE COVER changed to IDEA

ACTIVITY POTTY CHAIR changed to POTTY AND PLAY

LADY LIKE OUTBACK changed to LADYLIKE AND OUTBACK

SCENT OF A WOMAN/MATERIAL GIRL NAIL POLISH changed to FABRIQUE COATING changed to PHYZIKAL CONTACT

RC-S #1, #2, #3, #4, #5 KEY HOLDER changed to RC-S #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6 KEY HOLDER

PRE-SET WATER TEMP. SHOWER SYSTEM changed to HARVEE

GUM changed to FRESH AND CLEAN

COMPUTER FACE changed to FREELOCKING COMPUTER DO-NETT

CLIFFORD GOODE 2 IN 1 INSIDE OUT TREE BACER changed to TREE BRACE+TRAINER changed to 1/2 INSIDE OUT TREE BRACER changed to INSIDE OUT FRUITE TREE BRACER changed to 2 IN 1 TREE BRACER

SUCTION STRIPPER changed to HANDS FREE STRIPPER

E-Z FLOOR SCRAPER changed to E-Z SCRAPE FLOOR SCRAPER HANDLE

STRESS STICK changed to FINGER PLAY

FLY BYE changed to GENERATION 2000

FLICKER BALL changed to FLICKER CNAPPY BALL

SPLIT COMPUTER KEYBOARD changed to H.E.C.K.

WAHOO changed to EXHUBERATION

STEVE’S PAINT RECYCLER, CARBON MONOXIDE COLLECTOR, & SHOP VAC changed to STEVE’S MYSTERIOUS DEVICE

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About 'Becca
author of The Earthling's Handbook, about the environment, parenting, cooking, and more!

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