THE SCENE: Our dining room, last night. We are finishing up a dinner of Honey Baked Lentils and baked butternut squash. Nicholas, age 7, has gobbled two chunks of squash but only a few bites of lentils. NICK: Okay, I'm done. Can I have dessert? MAMA: (noting lentil level) Hmmm. You could have Bean Fudge. … Continue reading Dessert: A Matter of Emphasis
silliness
I wish I was a crayon.
Nicholas, age seven, recently remarked--seemingly out of nowhere, but I'm sure there was plenty of context in his mind-- "I wish I was a crayon. Except that people would be scraping my head off all the time."
Morning Conversation (starfish and princesses)
The scene: Our dining room, 7:00 a.m. Nicholas is eating a Grape-nuts Smile. Mama is eating Tomato Toast and reading the newspaper, wherein she discovers some facts that might interest a 7-year-old. MAMA: Did you know? The starfish is not really a fish. Also, it has no brain and no blood. NICK: Did you know? … Continue reading Morning Conversation (starfish and princesses)
Pajameter
This morning I realized that Today's Young People have created the need for a device which can assess the pajama-like qualities of one's outfit in a quick and objective manner to determine whether or not it qualifies as clothing for the purposes of, say, attending school. This pajameter could be used at the school entrance … Continue reading Pajameter
Words my three-year-old made up
Nicholas is six-and-a-half now, but I just found a post I made to a discussion board three years ago, answering the question, "Has your child invented any words?" I'm glad to see it again because I had forgotten 3 out of 5 of these! Pretendstructions. When Nicholas gets tired of his parents knowing all the … Continue reading Words my three-year-old made up
An Unexpected Find in the Thrift Store
Recently, I bought at Goodwill two anthologies of Calvin and Hobbes, a comic strip I enjoy reading to my six-year-old son. When we started reading the second one, Weirdos from Another Planet, we were surprised to find the following note written in metallic gold pen inside the front cover: Dear Corey, It was really fun … Continue reading An Unexpected Find in the Thrift Store
When Robots Write About Grildebeest
Last month, I invented a new word for a future animal of my own imagining. Today, on an idle lunch-break whim, I did a Google search to see if anyone else has been talking about grildebeest yet . . . and I found that one of those wily robots has picked up the topic. Well, … Continue reading When Robots Write About Grildebeest
Grildebeest
I've done it again--suddenly thought of a word that nobody else ever used or, at least, that Google says nobody else has written on the Internet. Scientists will breed the grildebeest especially for barbecuing. This raises the deep moral question of whether it is very sad for the grildebeest or the grildebeest ought to be … Continue reading Grildebeest
3 Fun New Games for All Ages!
Well, maybe not all ages, but children as young as 3 can play Seven Dragons. This card game with beautiful art includes modified rules for preschoolers. It's not just for kids, though; it's a great game for parties because it's easy to learn and involves some strategy without being stressfully competitive. Seven Dragons debuted at … Continue reading 3 Fun New Games for All Ages!
Watermelon is your ex-husband.
SCENE: The dining room, last night. Mama has a strangely terrible stomachache and is trying to eat a banana, hoping that it will absorb some of the acid. Nicholas, six years old, is babbling about many things that do not sink in to Mama's distracted mind. NICK: Babble! Babble! Watermelon is your ex-husband. MAMA: What? … Continue reading Watermelon is your ex-husband.
When Robots Write Novels in Your Comment Box
Mysterious robots sometimes comment on my articles. WordPress is much, much better at filtering spam than my old blog software, but it does sometimes put non-spam comments in the spam folder. That is where I found the text below, which I have edited a little bit to make it more entertaining, but I did not … Continue reading When Robots Write Novels in Your Comment Box
An Eagle Landing on the MOON!!!
Sometimes a fact that's been right in front of me all my life nonetheless fails to penetrate my consciousness. This particular fact may be one of which all my readers are already aware. In fact, you may think it's quite unremarkable. But it just now came to my attention, and I am flabbergasted, so I … Continue reading An Eagle Landing on the MOON!!!
Distortellini
Our six-year-old son, following in the tradition of his parents, has begun to make up words by sticking together two other words. Distortellini is, of course, a filled pasta that turned out with a different shape than intended. It's the sort of item that turns up at Market Outlet.
When Robots Comment on Your Blog
Sigh. First robots were writing news broadcasts and e-mailing them to me. Then robots started writing blogs and trackbacking to mine. Now robots are posting comments here. For example, here's one that just arrived, theoretically responding to my electric kettle article, from a robot named Woumesque: While a overwhelming seroquel 150mg to bottom of theyd … Continue reading When Robots Comment on Your Blog
Things Not To Do: Dessert Edition, Volume II
from storyteller Fran Stallings (Becca's mom), a story horrifyingly similar to the tale of the Fruity Whip While our kitchen is being renovated, we've set up camp in the main bathroom, which we have equipped with electric skillet, small microwave, and toaster oven. Electric kettle and toaster are on the dinette table, which is camping … Continue reading Things Not To Do: Dessert Edition, Volume II
Precocious Infant Stories
Another post from the past, written in March 2005. My son will be 3 months old tomorrow and usually sleeps all night except for nursing, but this morning he was awake and complaining 3:30-5:00. When the alarm went off at 7:00, he (sleeping on his side) flung his top arm above his head and began … Continue reading Precocious Infant Stories
Autumnymity
Autumnymity is the situation in which you can't recognize a tree because it has lost its leaves. I suddenly thought of this yesterday. Google tells me nobody else has used this word on the Internet. Hooray! A new word!
7 Quick Takes on 1 Dream
1. Pittsburgh has the topography of my dreams. By this I don't mean, "I always wanted to live in a place with steep hills and confusing street layout!" (I do enjoy it, but that was a gradual discovery after I moved here, not a reason to move here) but I mean that Pittsburgh when I'm … Continue reading 7 Quick Takes on 1 Dream
Things Not To Do, Dessert Edition
When I was in college, I belonged to a very silly geek social organization called KGB. We did a lot of weird things, including some which were worked into the structure of our weekly meetings. One of these was Things Not To Do: You'd get the floor, say, "Things Not To Do," and share an … Continue reading Things Not To Do, Dessert Edition
Rambling Sprawl Estates
Due to the troubled economy on Mars, you've decided to break into the Earth pizza market. You've developed an assortment of brands that are nontoxic and nicely inconspicuous...you think. The next step is to test-market your wares in a controlled area where you can closely observe the results. Thus, you have dispatched families of Martians … Continue reading Rambling Sprawl Estates
The Earthling's Handbook 